The Bigger Fear: Trying and Failing, or Never Trying at All?
There are two fears that quietly run our lives.
The first is the fear of doing — the nervous flutter before you start something new. A new workout routine. A hard conversation. A career change. This fear is loud. It shows up as a racing heart, a list of excuses, a sudden urge to “wait until the timing is better.”
The second is quieter, and it doesn’t show up until later. It’s the fear of wishing — of looking back and wondering what would have happened if you’d just started. This one doesn’t announce itself. It sits in the back of your mind for years, sometimes decades, and only gets louder with time.
Which one is bigger?
In my experience, it’s the second one — by a wide margin.
The fear of doing is temporary. It peaks right before you act, and it almost always shrinks the moment you take the first step. You sign up for the class. You make the call. You show up to the gym. Within minutes, the fear has already started to fade, replaced by momentum.
The fear of wishing doesn’t fade. It compounds. Psychologists who study regret consistently find that people are far more haunted by the things they didn’t do than by the things they did and got wrong. A failed attempt becomes a story you can tell. An attempt you never made becomes a question you can never answer.
Why this matters for your health
This isn’t just a mindset issue — it’s a health issue. The people who regret not prioritizing their wellbeing rarely regret the discomfort of a hard workout or an early morning walk. They regret the years they spent waiting for the “right time” that never came.
Action, even imperfect action, resolves fear. Inaction just lets it age.
The takeaway
You don’t have to feel ready. You just have to start before the fear of doing quietly turns into the much heavier fear of wishing you had.
— Julian Reddish Health and Wellness
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